LA——大城小事

　　上周五与朋友（两帅哥）去看了这部争议颇多的电影。李安导演费尽心思打造旧上海的一草一木，但梁影帝的港式国语和王帅哥的ABC国语却增添意外的笑点。汤唯很迷人，但其它CAST看着眼熟，原来是TVB的新晋艺员（包括《大唐双龙传》里饰演李世民的演员）——又一笑点。Sorry……我知道做人要厚道，但是忍不住。电影在美国上映时一刀未剪，所以我们得以领略所有的床戏……之后，Ken DD用一句经典的话做了总结：我是刘嘉玲，我也会脸黑！而我从头到尾好似只看到王帅哥和汤唯手上的那个粉红色的大钻戒……咔咔……

　　年纪渐长，决定好好反醒一下自己的生活态度。决定从以下几点开始改善：
　　1、尽量早睡早起，按时上、下班，就算要加班也尽量在家里加；
　　2、不再在网上买衣服，尤其是final Sale的东西。尺码太难掌握，如果不能退货就更惨；
　　3、节制用钱，三思之后觉得真的需要才出手（适用于衣服、食物及日常用品）；
　　4、每周都打扫房间，即使觉得不脏也得打扫；
　　5、要适当长点脾气，必要时要据理力争，不要当时无所谓事后却后悔；
　　6、少看没有营养的电视节目，多看点书（估计短期内不太可能办到）；
　　7、多多锻炼身体。
　　8、少说脏字儿（中英文适用）。
　　9、要做到笑不露齿 ^-^。
　　10、待续……

　　每年生日前总会一些美好而心爱的东西消失 —— 或者莫名奇妙地不见，或者我被迫放弃……我开始觉得这是“命”，甚至开始习惯这样的变化，懒得追究原由。
　　喜欢的客户，喜欢的同事，喜欢的人……想抓也抓不住，很无奈，很难过。
　　不过想想生日就是旧一年的结束，新一年的开始，有些东西肯定要离开要变化。本来就没有什么是永远的。回想过往的经历，发现那时的伤感只是阵痛而已。
　　只是觉得人生充满了不确定，而天平座缺的偏偏就是安全感。
　　今天和一位曾经最喜欢的客户聊了40分钟，讨论他们不续约的原因。我们的关系依然很好，像朋友而不像合同中的甲方乙方。也许我对这家公司已经投入了工作以外的感情，心里真的好不好受。
　　在还没有互相怨恨的时候分开，起码以后见面还可以点头微笑。what a wonderful break-up……
　　这些都是自我安慰的话，可是除了自我安慰，我还能做什么？哦，还一样得做的就是move on。

Commentary by Mark Gilbert
     Aug. 16 (Bloomberg) -- Dear investor, we'd like to take this opportunity to update you on the recent erformance of our hedge fund, Short-Term Capital Mismanagement LLP.
     As you know, market selection for the entire fund is guided by a proprietary investing tool we like to call ``a dartboard.'' Once the asset classes are decided, individual security selections are generated by digitizing our unique hexagonal cuboid models.
     Unfortunately, it transpires that our hexagonal cuboids are not as unique as we thought. Hundreds of other hedge funds possess identical dice. The technical term for this is a ``crowded trade.'' You may also see it referred to as ``climbing on a bandwagon already headed for the wall.''
     As our alpha generation collapses, our beta has turned negative, our delta hedging has gone toxic and, trust me, you do not want to hear about our gamma. We can't even find our epsilons in the dark with both hands.
     You will appreciate that accurate pricing is essential for evaluating our investment strategies. This has proven to be extremely challenging in recent days. Previously, we have relied on Bob, the sales guy at Hokey-Cokey Bank. Bob assured us the securities were still worth 100 percent of face value, so everything was cool. Bob sold the collateralized debt obligations to us in the first place, so he knows what he's talking about.
     Bob, however, appears to have had a nervous breakdown, judging by the maniacal laughter that greeted our requests for price verification this week. Our efforts to implement an in-house CDO valuation framework, using a technique the ancients knew as ``making things up,'' proved unsatisfactory.

 Where's the Bid? 

     Currently, all of the portfolios we manage are undergoing a rigorous screening known as ``crossing our fingers and praying that we don't have to try and find a bid in the market.'' This is supplemented by a cross-market statistical analysis originally developed by the U.S. military called ``don't ask, don't tell.'' This ``unmarking-to-unmarket'' procedure has been the benchmark for the hedge-fund industry for the past, ooh, 72 hours.
     We have, of course, been in touch with the rating companies to update our default-probability scenarios, particularly on the AAA rated investments we own. They recommended a forecasting method using stochastics to regress the drift-to-downgrade timescales for the past 100 years and throw them forward for the next five minutes. The technical term for this is ``induction,'' though those of you of a less quantitative bent may know it as
``guessing.''  AAA or Toast?     We are pleased to report that, contrary to what current market prices might suggest, all of our top-rated securities remain absolutely AAA. Provided, that is, the future performance of the underlying collateral is identical to its history. Otherwise, the rating companies say our investments are likely to be reclassified as ``toast.''
     We have also been checking our back-up credit lines with our friends in the investment-banking world. As soon as they return our calls, we'll be able to update you on our emergency liquidity position. We are sure they are fine.
     Some of you have written to us asking for your money back, citing clauses in the fund documentation called redemption rights. Frankly, we never expected you to actually read that prospectus, which came prepackaged when we bought the Microsoft Hedge-Fund Guy software. We certainly have no idea what all those
long words mean.
     We have filed your letters in a special drawer in the filing cabinet marked ``trash'' for now. Do you have any idea how much trouble you all would be in if we actually sold this stuff in the market today? At these crazy prices? Fuhgeddaboudit. You'll thank us later.                           Not a Rescue      Speaking of crazy prices, we know you'll be thrilled to learn that we've invited a bunch of our rich pals into the fund to participate in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But this is not a rescue. Do not even think the word rescue. This is an opportunity. Not a rescue. An opportunity.
     In fact, we think this is such a fantastic opportunity, we've agreed to forgo our usual management fee, and we'll only take half our usual slice of the profits. Provided there are any profits to slice. You, of course, are absolutely invited to participate in this offer by sending us yet more of your money on exactly the same revised terms as our rich pals.
     Finally, a word for all of you who have been kind enough to inquire about my personal financial situation. I am relieved to report that my directors and officers insurance is fully paid up. Furthermore, my Bentley Continental was paid out of the 2 percent fee we levied when you wrote your first check to us, so I will still be able to trundle into the parking lot each morning in an open-necked shirt to ignore your telephone calls and e-mails.
Yours, Hedge-Fund Guy. House of cards?

　　周五没有客户发财报，可以休息一下。
　　在网上无聊闲逛，看到一篇贴子是说桂林的。不禁让我怀念大学时代和同学们下乡社会实践的情景。
　　时间过得真快呀……
　　http://holidaylily.blogbus.com/logs/7075527.html

　　今天早上哼哧哼哧爬起来，迷迷糊糊拎起话筒拨打800的号码，开始每次季报必行的投资者电话会议口译。
　　昨天晚上本想早点睡，可是因为某人一句：“你硅谷一日游的照片还没有弄出来呀？”偶决定好好学习一下photoshop……
　　谁知一直摆弄到凌晨。
　　本来雄心斗志地将闹钟调到4:45AM，这样可以赶到办公室参加6:00AM的电话会议。结果证明偶的意志力是薄弱的——5:45AM才正式从床上坐起来。
　　说了半天，各位也许还不明白我在干嘛。
　　就是美国上市公司每季度都要报告季度盈利情况（好像香港等亚洲市场只要求一年两次财报）。例行公司还会发布季报新闻稿，召开投资者电话会议。
　　这对中国公司来说增加了额外的负担——时差！一般电话会议是在美国东部时间早上9:00AM开始，也就是中国时间的晚上9:00PM，但在LA却是美国西部时间清晨6:00AM。
　　偶已经习惯了晚睡晚起，早起是一件痛苦的事。明白说出的每句话对公司股价的影响，偶常常紧张得前一天夜里睡不好。
　　今天是连续两个电话会议翻译，两家公司业务南辕北辙——一家做化工，一家做肉类制品。偶的脑筋转得都快绞到一块了。
　　刚开始担心金融术语，现在更担心行业专业名词，比如碳酸铵、密胺，还有毛猪、冷冻肉和生鲜肉等……
　　同事们都戏称我CTO，也就是chief Translation Officer（首席翻译官）。我一直强调：本小姐不是为翻译而生滴！
　　但不可否认，翻译真的让我学会很多很多，从金融知识到行业情况……还知道生猪叫hog，不叫pig!
　　对了，顺便放几张7月底去北加时拍的风景照。17 Miles和Pacific Highway真的很美，强烈推荐！

　　已经不只一次听到对偶英文名的质疑。事件发生的地点包括：学校、教会、出租车上、牛扒馆……
　　最令人沮丧的两个例子是：
　　在Milwaukee和Wonder路演的时候，Jim大叔请我们吃牛扒。席间谈笑风声，觥杯交错……
　　Jim大叔突然放下酒杯，认真地问我：你为什么叫Mabel?这是我姨妈的名字……
　　大叔今年已经60多了，他姨妈该有多大呀！
　　我一下子蔫了，闷闷地回答说：只是觉得发音有点儿像我的中文名……
　　Jim大叔不给面子地继续说：你知道吗，在美国Mabel这个名字让人觉得是70岁以上的老太太。
　　我一块牛扒差点没噎着……Ryan在一旁狂笑。
　　还有一次是在纽约赶飞机的出租车上。司机听见同事叫我Mabel，很惊讶地回过头，问：Your name is Mabel?
　　我答：Yes?
　　这位祖籍非洲，身高八尺有余的老兄卟哧一声笑出来：That's an old style name! Only old people have this name!（就是说我的英文名是老太太们用的。）
　　我气得回嘴说：Yeah, I am old!心想：你的小费没了。
　　同事在一旁笑得直不起腰来……
　　Mabel真得那么差吗？听起来挺可爱的呀。
　　现在我就用GOOGLE为我的英文名正名：
Mabel - english - my beautiful one

MABEL 
Gender: Feminine
Usage: English
From an Old French name which was derived from Latin amabilis "lovable".

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Mabel may refer to:

Mabel Motley, the female lead character on the comic strip Motley's Crew
Mabel, Minnesota (United States)
Mabel (band), a Danish popular music group
Mabel, an Italian dance group headed by Paolo Ferrali,
Mabel McDowell Adult Education Center, a National Historic Landmark in Columbus, Indiana, United States
Mabel as a given name may refer to (sorted by birth year):

Mabel Besant-Scott (1870–1952), a British occultist
Mabel Normand (1892–1930), an American actress
Mabel Strickland (1899–1988), a Maltese journalist and politician
Mabel Poulton (1901–1994), a British actress
Mabel King (1932–1999), an American singer and actress
Princess Mabel of Orange-Nassau, Mrs. Van Amsberg (born 1968), also known as Princess Mabel of the Netherlands, a member of the Dutch royalty
Mabel Barr (born 19??), the author of the children's book Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie, inspired by the fictional children's book referred to in the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes
Mabel Lee (born 19??), an Australian translator
Nelson Frazier, Jr. (born 1972), a professional wrestler, as his first stage name "Mabel"
Mabel Syrup (created 19??; see Calvin and Hobbes), the fictional author of the children's book Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie in the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip
……
　　我的英文名牛吧？！
　　更牛是的是翻译成中文以后：
http://chineseculture.about.com/library/name/female/blna_mabel.htm

　　最近过得有点混乱，工作几乎是以即兴安排的。每天早上睁开眼睛都不知道这一天自己应该做些什么。
　　公司每天都有变化：同事、客户、计划……这个、那个……
　　很郁闷地发现自己在做保密工作，有很多事情不能说……委曲的，开心的，成功的，失败的……
　　说给谁呢？说给能明白的也许会违反纪律，说给不能明白的——说了也是白说。
　　这几天股市跌得利害……突然明白老板对客户反复强调的一句话：要培养投资者对公司未来的信心。
　　注意：是未来，不是今天也不是明天……
　　其实无论投资什么都一样，股票、房产、国债、事业……甚至感情，都需要对未来有信心。
　　可是这样的信心从哪里，又如何持续呢？
　　P.S. - 刚刚收到信息，我最钟爱的一个客户收到纳斯达克的批准，准备升板交易。
　　真TMD想哭~~~~~

 

　　今天下午，部门的INTERN（中国人）去参加培训了。她走后手机就一直响，铃声还是中文流行歌《理想生活》。做在我旁边的Robert实在受不了了，拿起她的手机走到我面前：Please translate.
　　中午公司午餐会，我点了意粉。网站上的图片有鸡有虾，但我拿到手的只有面。环顾四周发现有一盒烤虾，我想也不想就倒进自己的碗里。只听会计大叔Rico惨叫：Mabel! That's my shrimp!
　　原来我被骗了，我点的意粉真的没有虾的……Rico接着说：you won't get your pay check any more.
　　晕

　　你有没有想过该如何规划你的职业生涯,比如说多少岁的时候你应该拿多少薪水,　多少岁的时候应该升到怎样的职位？
　　不论你规划得如何的完美，都转不出老天爷手中的罗盘。
　　我也曾经想过这个问题，可是想来想去得出的结论总是：我才多少岁，需要这么严肃吗？30岁以前应该享受人生乐趣，积累事业的经验，用不着太过拼命。
　　这次我到纽约帮客户协调纳斯达克鸣钟仪式，再次碰到他们的CFO——一位只比我大两个月的女孩。原本以为她只是被抽壮丁来处理家族生意，多少有点玩票性质，可是与她相处的三天让我重新认识了她。
　　身材纤细，着装还未脱稚气的她每天主讲5，6个会议，应对十多个投资人、分析师提出的各种问题。高强度的行程安排让她无法在一个城市停留超过24小时，通常都是早上开始开会，傍晚赶往飞机场飞到下个城市。到达酒店时往往已经是深夜，而明早的会议8:30就开始。
　　近50场会议中，她重复着同样地的presentation，也许还要面对怀疑甚至嘲讽的目光。如果是我，我想我会吐的。
　　然而，她从来没有抱怨过，也没有皱过一次眉。只有当我和她搭出租车去华尔街的路上，她自言自语说：我想回家。
　　她了解公司所处的行业，了解中国大的经济环境，对公司的财务数据倒背如流，更重要的是，从她的眼光中我们看到对公司的信心和傲气。
　　在接受Bloomberg采访前我们给她彩排。只见她晃着小脑袋，认真地记着笔记，两腿因够不到地而悬在沙发边缘。当时我都有种心痛的感觉——26岁成为一家纳斯达克上市公司的CFO，绝不是值得羡慕的光环。也许她可以从shopping，与朋友唱K或者旅行中获得更多的乐趣。
　　在一次与商业伙伴的晚餐中她突然晕倒,而在第二天的投资论坛中她依然撑着苍白的脸色完成presentation。
　　虽然我不知道这是不是她自己的决定，但是她接受了这份挑战，并且牺牲很多很努力去做，这份勇气值得所有年龄人的尊重。